Biting back

Well, as predicted, Liam and I broke up last week. What day exactly, I couldn't tell you. Partially because of the logistics and complications of him moving all of his stuff out, and partially because we really love this house, and are still under lease for a year, we decided to remain roommates. The "friends" bit is pending, as I'm not really sure what kind of a friend he is. So far, the roommates thing is working out pretty well, except for a few things. One, I'll always be the neat roommate. Two, I'm isolated as fuck because my phone is broken, and we never bothered with a land line, and I'm sick for the first time in nearly a year, with no one to take care of me or really support me--and no way to even call anyone and ask if they would mind doing so. So, I'm feeling pretty damned lonely and sorry for myself, and the whole "call your sponsor" when you want to drink thing is simply not applicable at this point, nor has it been for about four days.

You can imagine how that's gone.

Plus, (if I may continue to vent here), part of my relief at the breakup was "Finally, sex." It's no real secret that, for some reason completely unknown to me (and heretofore irrelevant), Liam very rarely wanted to have sex, especially once we moved in together. So, I was really looking forward to just getting good and fucked. No dice. No relief, even in that department, since I was struck with this damned head plague AND the Niagara of all menstruation over the weekend. So I can't exercise (too cold out, and I'm too sick). I can't fuck (unless someone wants to stage his own Halloween bloodbath between my sheets). I can't call anyone. I can't drink. I'm fucking broke. I'm lonely. Goddamn it. I'm feeling so sorry for myself I could just scream. What else is new?

To top it all off, Liam seems to be having the time of his newly single life. I'm glad it's working out so well for him (no sarcasm here), but I resent the fuck out of being the only one stuck here, jobless, broke, sick, lonely, sober, and bleeding.

Things have to get better, and soon.