I'm going to try something a little different. I want to discourage you from reading further, or in fact from reading anything labeled "Confessions" if any of the following applies to you:
--You regularly use the phrase "That's too much information," or "Man! Don't tell me that!"
--You are easily offended or grossed out in any way.
--You think that if you lived in another person's head for even thirty seconds, you'd get really freaked out by what's in there.
Because I have a lot of weird thoughts on a regular basis. No, I mean REALLY weird ones. I always have. Maybe it's all mental garbage. But maybe, on the other hand, there are pearls of wisdom to be found in every little bit of subconscious housecleaning. I don't meditate nearly as much as I used to, and when I do, it's usually very active. These bizarre thoughts have to go somewhere, though, and it may as well be here. Besides, insanity has been a great motivator of creative impulses for as long as there has been art; I'm not suggesting it's the only motivator of art, any more than I believe that alcohol improves my writing. It's just that one of the reasons I write is to find out what I think, and vice versa. Thinking without writing it down, for me, is like the parable of the four blind men who all grabbed one part of an elephant; remember that one? One man said, "Oh, this is a tree!" and the other said "No, it's a motorcycle," and one said, "No, fools, it's a dank, smelly cave full of elephant shit!" ...or something like that.
So, here it goes. I have two today, which I'll enter now.
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